Last March, back in Paris, I had a surprising conversation that planted the idea of this newsletter.
I was sitting in the office of the anesthesiologist who would be responsible for keeping me asleep and alive (#dramaqueen) through my upcoming surgery, and she was asking me a never-ending series of questions, including what my profession was. Hearing ‘artist’ made her put her pen down, and we took a tangent about my adventurous life story.
Explaining my atypical life decisions to my family and some of my more conservative acquaintances is not always easy, but to strangers we often reach another level of puzzlement: a total confusion to understand why the hell would I choose such an unusual complex life path, and beyond all, how would I make it all work. Breaking news: I don’t know yet, ask me again in 10 years!
So, as I was telling my story to this doctor, focusing only on the big lines (China – USA – porcelain brand – becoming a painter), I saw her eyes widening with curiosity. Until she burped: ‘Going from Shanghai to New York??? BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!’ Dear god… French people’s unfiltered and unsolicited opinions will never cease to amaze me. But, truly, what stroke me the most in this instance was that in my mind, and probably in my mind only, it did make perfect sense!
That is why today I will tell you the long version answer to this most asked question: ‘Why did you move to New York after 12 years in Shanghai?’ (most people assuming the reason is a job, either mine or my partner’s. It isn’t). The short answer, being just ‘life’, always leaves my interlocutors even more perplexed, which I admit secretly loving.
IT ALL STARTED WITH A FANTASY
I learned English as a teenager watching Sex and the City over and over and over again. Way before I was actually able to have a proper fluent conversation, I would already memorize hilarious expressions such as ‘been there, done that, got the t-shirt’ or ‘tell me something I don’t know’. This show triggered in me a complete obsession with New York I’m not sure will ever end. The vibrancy, the people, the fashion, the brownstone apartment, the yellow cabs, the freedom, the excitement. The delirious balance in between the city’s toughness and its sparkles. And… the CARRIE BRADSHAW.
I had to go and check for myself if what I saw on screen was real. At 21 years old, I found an internship and spent 8 months living in Chelsea and working at a French fashion brand on 5th avenue. I remember walking out the subway every morning feeling more alive than ever. The bliss was real indeed, but as an intern I was broke and felt I couldn’t afford all the city had to offer. So I told myself I would come back and live there once my cup was full. First I’d go to China.
༄ fast forward 10 years + ༄
A CHAPTER I HAD TO CLOSE
After many years in China, as happy as I was, I could see how limiting, and sad to say, how ‘unproductive’ spending more time and energy there could become. China is this huge magnificent abundant country that can endlessly surprise and amaze you, and I fell totally in love with its culture, people and heritage.
But you live a secluded existence within its wide borders, in a bubble disconnected from the rest of the world, even more so since c*vid happened. I wish it changes, that China policies and systems become more international, and that more and more people worldwide open up their mind and their heart to the country. However, I’m afraid it will take years, and it is breaking my heart to say and observe. For now, life in Shanghai feels like this incredible secret that no one outside China is aware of or even cares about.
In other words, what I was building in China worked really well within China, but wouldn’t anywhere else. And I couldn’t see that being sustainable for my future. My objective has always been freedom, in the shape of creating an international life and career that I could take with me anywhere, as I would explore the different chapters of my life. That was not happening with my porcelain brand French Dragon, nor with Shanghai as a home base. And trust me, I’m still grieving these two.
WHAT WAS NEXT?
When you find freedom and happiness far away from your home country, where you have no intention returning to, the ‘next place’ becomes a central topic.
I knew that what I could accomplish in Shanghai -building a happy life from scratch in a very remote culture from mine- could only happen so many times in one lifetime. It took SO MUCH time, effort, courage and energy that I don’t see myself doing this all over again every x years. My next destination had to really make sense for both my personal life and my long term career. Being very honest with myself, I felt I didn’t have it in me anymore to hop around and explore aimlessly, I wanted to start building a sustainable future, slowly but steadily. And I was ready to put the energy into one big challenge, one big mountain to climb in my thirties.
So what was going to be the next place? Lisbon, Tokyo, Amsterdam, Bangkok? It was really tough to beat how intense, full of opportunities and exhilarating Shanghai was.
And, New York, once again, was checking all the boxes… and more.
I will tell you all about these boxes & the gap between dreams and reality in next Sunday’s newsletter <3
Love from New York,
Laure-Anne
So..Let's go to NY !
SATC!!! Same reason that drew me to the big apple and spent my twenties there...would never trade this experience for anything in the world!